The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part Two is the final film in the Twilight series, and comprises the second half of the book Breaking Dawn, which has telepathic babies, pedophile werewolves and… love.

Okay, so there’s a ton of crazy shit in this final Twilight film. I know the general story of the last book, though I’m not 100% certain of where they were split. I do know that in Breaking Dawn Part One Edward and Bella get married, and she gets knocked up. The baby grows super fast in her lady parts, and it’s a rough pregnancy. Not sure if the kid is born in Part One or not, but I do know that when it is born Edward cuts the umbilical cord.

With his teeth. Seriously.

Jacob, the wolf boy, doesn’t like that Bella rejected him, but it’s cool because he falls in love.

With the baby. Seriously.

Oh, and the baby is telepathic and capable of adult conversations. Seriously.

In the final film, the bad guy vampires, the Volturi, are out to kill the baby, Renesmee, which is a name only a frigging moronic 13 year old girl would pick for a daughter, and the Cullen family bring together a number of vampire clans to protect the child. And Bella finally gets turned into a vampire. Or that happened in Part One.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part Two

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part Two is being directed by the same director as Part One: Bill Condon. Condon has also made films like Kinsey and Dreamgirls. The screenplay is by Melissa Rosenberg, who wrote all the other Twilight screenplays.

As always, these films are based on the brilliant work by Stephenie Meyer. Yep, there’s an extra “E” in Stephenie. Which sorta explains why she created the name Renesmee.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part Two Trailer

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part Two Release Date

November 16, 2012.

Pictures

Twilight Trailer

Who’s In It?

Kristen Stewart … Bella
Anna Kendrick … Jessica Stanley
Robert Pattinson … Edward Cullen
Taylor Lautner … Jacob Black
Dakota Fanning … Jane
Maggie Grace … Irina
Michael Sheen … Aro
Ashley Greene … Alice Cullen
Nikki Reed … Rosalie Hale
Peter Facinelli … Dr. Carlisle Cullen
Kellan Lutz … Emmett Cullen
Mackenzie Foy … Renesmee
Jackson Rathbone … Jasper Hale
Jamie Campbell Bower … Caius
Joe Anderson … Alistair
Elizabeth Reaser … Esme Cullen
Billy Burke … Charlie Swan
Lee Pace … Garrett
Cameron Bright … Alec
Christopher Heyerdahl … Marcus
MyAnna Buring … Tanya
Booboo Stewart … Seth Clearwater
Noel Fisher … Vladimir
Angela Sarafyan … Tia
Rami Malek … Benjamin

What’s Good About It?

Um… telepathic baby. I’ve never seen a film with a telepathic baby that WASN’T good.

What’s Bad About It?

Come on. This is the closest we get to romance these days? Yesterday, I farted. It sounded closer to a sonnet than Twilight.

Our Clever Prediction

I want so badly to say this will fail, but that isn’t even close to possible. Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part Two may very well make close to a billion dollars. Holy cow.