The Best Horror Movies Ever!

Michael Corleone September 20, 2012 33

I’ve been trying to compile a list of the scariest, yet most fun movies you can watch around Halloween. I’ve made a list of my top 20 best Halloween films, I’d like to hear yours as well and I’ll update the list if I agree with your choice.

I know this list is subjective, you won’t agree with them all, but these are my favorite films around Halloween. Coming up with a list about scary movies isn’t easy, because I do not scare easily. Consider most ‘scary films’ have little more substance than that old internet gag where you stare at a picture until some dead bitch comes screaming into the frame.

Hence why a lot of popular films missed my list, they didn’t scare me at any point in my life. These films affected me for various reasons, maybe because I was too young when I watched them, perhaps it was some other screwed up reason.

Here is my list of the top 20 Horror films you can watch this Halloween, or whenever you need a good scare.

#20 Army of Darknes

One of the most popular horror comedies of all time, this classic almost destroyed the careers of all involved as it never even broke even at the theaters. A man is accidentally transported to 1300 A.D., where he must battle an army of the dead and retrieve the Necronomicon so he can return home.

Top 20 Because

Kicking ass on the dead with chainsaws and fists has never been this fun.

# 19 An American Werewolf in London

Two American tourists in England are attacked by a werewolf that none of the locals will admit exists.

Top 20 Because :

Wicked nudity, blood and gore and wonderful suspense.

#18 The Omen

Gregory Peck learns that his little prick of a son his really the Antichrist.

Top 20 Because :

Maybe its because I was 7 years old the first time I saw this film, but the music, the murder and the mayhem that Damien unleashes on his inner circle, is of the ‘You’ll shit your pants’ nature. I am still uneasy about people named ‘Damien’ to this day.

# 17 Halloween

When I say ‘Halloween’ , I mean the 1978 version, not the piece of shit movies Rob Zombie is mass producing. The original version still holds up till this day, and an enormously breasted Jamie Lee Curtis makes her first real motion picture appearance.

Top 20 Because

The movie delivered us Michael Myers and that creepy mask that looks very similar to a young William Shatner.

#16 Friday The 13th Part 2

Mrs. Voorhees is dead, and Camp Crystal Lake is shut down, but a camp next to the infamous place is stalked by an unknown assailant. Yeah that’s right, its Jason Voorhees , bitches, and he’s got mommy issues. Jason takes out his hatred on teenage girls, jocks, and shitheads with bad 80′s haircuts.

Top 20 Because

Part 2 made my list because its the first time we get to meet the troubled young lad Jason, and see his his silly little temper in action. Jason kicks ass in ways never seen before on film and forces his way into one of the most iconic killing mofo’s on the fricken planet.

Throw in the insane amount of titties and idiotic douchebags, and you’ll be rooting for Jason, rather than then the innocent little turds trespassing on JV’s turf.

#15 Dawn Of The Dead

A nurse, a policeman, a young married couple, a salesman, and other survivors of a worldwide plague that is producing aggressive, flesh-eating zombies, take refuge in a mega Midwestern shopping mall.

Top 20 Because

I enjoyed this remake, and the much better special effects than the original offered. I’m still a fan of the 1978 George Romero classic, but the 2004 version was just… better.

Nothing would be more awesome than sitting on the mall roof with guns, plucking off the retarded zombies as they got to do in this film.

#14 Candyman

Top 20 Because

Because  a murderous asshole with a hook for a hand, can really torment a person.

#13 The Shining

A family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter where an evil and spiritual presence influences the father into violence, while his psychic son sees horrific forebodings from the past and of the future.

Top 20 Because

Creepy foreshadowing, a fucked up Jack Nicholson and nowhere to run make this classic a hit every year. Heeeeeeeeeeeres Johnny!

#12 A Nightmare On Elm Street

Wes Craven’s iconic masterpiece about a sweet young man named Freddy Krueger who is forced to torture, murder and dismember the children on Elm Street in their sleep, all because he was picked on by the local adults.

Top 20 Because

You have to ask? No explanation necessary. Freddy Krueger busts shit up in this iconic movie. This film ruined red and black striped sweaters from ever being warn again.

#11 Saw

With a dead body laying between them, two men wake up in the secure lair of a serial killer who’s been nicknamed “Jigsaw” by the police because of his unusual calling card.

Top 20 Because

The imagination of the film was a breath of fresh air, and the torture just downright disturbing. This fella ‘Jigsaw’ is as fucked up as Freddy Kreuger.

#10 Evil Dead

Five friends travel to a cabin in the woods, where they unknowingly release flesh-possessing demons. The film is sick, violent and disturbing. I loved it.

Top 20 Because

The tree rape and pencil stabbing scenes are the tits.

#9 ‘The Pact’ (2012)

A creepy movie about sisters returning home after their mother dies. While getting the house in order, ghostly phenomena start happening. Is the house possessed, or is someone else lurking in the shadows?

Top 20 Because

It’s scary as shit.

#8 Amityville Horror

Based on a true story, the show has a ton of memorable moments and situations to scare the hell out of you this Halloween. A family is terrorized by demonic forces after moving into a home that was the site of a grisly mass-murder.

Top 20 Because

Bleeding walls, scary voices and based on a true story. If a mysterious voice ever tells me to get the fuck out of the house, there wouldn’t be a movie to write about.

#7 Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Loosely based on the life of that silly goose Ed Gein, who felt compelled to keep his dead mother around for years after the fact. Mr. Gein also enjoyed chopping up dead bodies he dug up from the local graveyard and he had sex with them, and also made interesting furniture and clothing from their bodies.

Top 20 Because

The dude is awesome with a chainsaw, plus he can fuck you up with a right hook or a kick to the chest. Old Leatherface can dish out the business like few others can, and he’s a disgusting piece of shit to look at. He looks like a taller version of Jim Norton.

#6 The Exorcist

Seems this film always makes the top 10, but with good reason. Its still a creepy and freaky movie and the effects still hold up. Is it the lighting? The music? Is Linda Blair still bangable when posessed? Ding ding ding, its all of the above.

Top 20 Because

Young Regan spins her head 360 fucking degrees and calls Father Merrin a ‘cunt’, while spitting green vomit all over the place. Not only does this princess look like my lovely ex-girlfriend, but she talks like her too! This film holds up to this day. Baby come back!

#5 Alien

How can anyone deny putting ‘Alien’ on this list? Trapped on a spaceship with nowhere to run, Sigourney Weaver takes the defensive on an attacking Alien.

Top 20 Because

Graphic, violent and ahead of its time, Alien is full of suspense and rock-hard Sigourney Weaver nipples plus is scary as all heck.

#4 Paranormal Activity

Listen, I hated the film and didn’t find it scary, but you pussies did. So, it is with great regret I list the film in our Scary Movie list.

Top 20 Because

Because the filmakers say ‘You Demanded It!’. Suckers!

#3 The Thing

I had the displeasure of watching this movie when I was only 11 years old, and it screwed me up for years. Back in the early 80′s, parents never screened the videos brought home from the store, which is why I got to see so much, so early on in my youth. Watching The Thing at such an early age was wrong, because even after I saw it in my 30′s it still scared me. Yeah, I’m a little bitch, ok?

Top 20 Because

Because John Carpenter knows how to scare the shit out of you the right way.

#2 Night of the Living Dead

Hilarity and fun begin when a few strangers get trapped in an old farmhouse, because the living dead have surrounded the area. This classic movie was king of its day, and still holds up even today. Sure, the zombies are corny, but this is the film that started it all so lets give it the respect it deserves.

Top 20 Because

Back in 1968, this production and the effects were awesome. If you look closely enough, you’ll see a ton of boobies on the female zombies roaming the area. Hey, the lead black character never gets killed in this film, how about that?

#1 Poltergeist

Poltergeist is the shit when it comes to horror movies, I have no idea why it doesn’t make it on more lists. It has all the elements it takes to be a super scary movie, and the effects were king of its day. The ending was creepy as hell, and it made every home-owner wonder just what the hell was buried underneath their house.

Top 20 Because

Its fucking Poltergeist, it wins no matter what.

Just missed the cut

Christine, Cujo,Hellraiser, Deliverance, Psycho, Silence Of The Lambs, The Vanishing, Carrie

33 Comments »

  1. justjason271 July 20, 2013 at 10:02 am -

    i love the list ….maybe not the order….two i would have put in here…..Pet Semetary and Trick r Treat…. both of these are must watch movies during halloween time, along with many of the movies you have already listed. i enjoyed reading this . thank a lot for sharing your list.

  2. tiberiusfunk June 24, 2013 at 8:39 am -

    I disagree with your reasoning behind An American Werewolf in London. It should be on the list because it was the first horror movie to successfully combine horror and comedy, it was the first horror movie to do the “bathroom-scary thing behind you in the mirror” trick, and of course, to date, despite all the advances in make-up effects and CGI , it is still the best transformation from man to werewolf ever seen.

  3. MarkB2477 June 16, 2013 at 8:19 pm -

    I think the Exorcist deserves the number one spot. You’re forgetting that it is also based on a true story about a boy that was possessed.

  4. dowd June 12, 2013 at 6:08 pm -

    Michael Corleone:
    I can’t believe you forgot one of the scariest movies for Halloween: The Entity

    • Dudley 'Booger' Dawson June 14, 2013 at 7:32 pm -

      Good point, I will update this list.

  5. DarwinsMyth May 17, 2013 at 6:30 am -

    Aliens was scarier than Alien, it was a lot better movie, and the best in the series, IMHO. Perhaps, it would even be in my Top 5 of all time. Army of Darkness was too humorous to be scary, but it’s definitely a great movie for Halloween. Not among my favorite movies, but, Pandorum would be on my Top 20 list, because it was very scary.