The Lone Ranger (2013)

The Lone Ranger was a movie that just needed to be done. I mean, they have remade most of the classic Westerns already, so why not one of the most memorable characters besides ‘The Duke’?

The Lone Ranger 2013

The new Lone Ranger movie is still in the early writing stages, but Johnny Depp is signed to play the most loyal Indian in history, Tonto. Kids these days may not know the whole story about The Lone Ranger, so here’s a quick review for todays semi-retarded youth who have never picked up a book :

The Lone Ranger was a survivor of a group of Texas Rangers ambushed by a mean man named Butch Cavendish. He is nursed back to health by Tonto, the Native American who saved him.

The now masked (and somewhat nerdy looking) “Lone Ranger” sets out to bring justice to the West with the help of his friend. Kind of how Clint Eastwood set shit straight in Gran Torino, only its cowboys and Indians this time around.

Who’s The Lone Ranger For?

People older than 40, and fans of the western niche. Have no doubt, Disney will make it super violent and sexual, just to throw at todays youth. Kiss your father’s most beloved childhood hero goodbye, the minds at disney will ruin it, you can count on that.

Lone Ranger Release Date

July 3rd 2013 is the official release date.

Lone Ranger Pics

The Lone Ranger Trailers

Who’s In It?

Johnny Depp is in, but wouldn’t it be awesome if Lou Diamond Phillips and Edward James Olmos were too? Arnie Hammer plays The Lone Ranger, and Helena Bonham Carter plays the loose woman who loves liquor and men. Reminds me of my aunt Carol.

Interesting Fact

Clayton Moore played the original Lone Ranger from 1949-1957. He coined the term ‘Indian Giver’ after an on-screen dispute with Tonto.

What’s Good About It?

The Lone Ranger was a pretty cool character when I was young, but so was The Six Million Dollar Man. I guess Depp will bring some legitimacy to this iconic character. Justin Haythe wrote Revolutionary Road, which was a really good story so I have some faith. Also, Jerry Bruckheimer is producing, so.. yeah.. the talent is there.

What’s Bad About It?

Couldn’t they find an actual Indian to play Tonto? Are there no native Americans acting these days? Seriously, Lou Diamond Phillips is looking for work.

Our Clever Prediction

Not sure, I’m not holding my breath for Disney to release anything groundbreaking these days.


  1. Buster Salesberry

    April 11, 2011 at 12:46 am

    I’m afraid the New Lone Ranger movie will be a flop as far as for the ones who have seen the serials and Clayton Moore on TV . The problem on every remake they do, they try to update it and make it both Hip and Politically correct or the casting is way off. Examples, The Green Hornet, Honeymooners, Wild Wild West and the remakes of the Lone Ranger for TV a few years back. Keep it like the Original and you’ll have a hit, mess with it and you’ll have a miss. I predict a flop, I hope I’m wrong.

  2. Bud

    March 23, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    I think Lou Diamond would make a great Tonto and Johnny Depp would be a better Lone Ranger. As long as whoever they get is not too effeminate, can act, does not have a foreign accent, or is not Nicholas Cage; I’ll be one of the first in line.

  3. Joey hernandez

    February 25, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    Josh brolin would be the perfect fit in the role of the lone ranger.

  4. TimothyWilkerson

    February 25, 2011 at 9:16 am

    HOORAY!!! Finally something I like, but use cautious consideration. The hopes and aspirations of “The LONE RANGER” being himself, ofcourse still a true mystery, but hopefully being played by Clint Eastwood himself or even played by former “Indiana Jones” Harrison Ford himself, have my true undivided attention/s. It would be my pleasure to make a plaque of either Actor/s & or Director, seeing how they’ve earned it, after all these years, for being on my true hero list. I only wish they could be contacted personally regarding my artwork/s, and their support, as for getting it signed by hand, and copies made, copyrights, royalties; etc…etc… approved of; by them personally, and also get something done as for them either visiting my small business at a flee market, or visiting my home, though small & cozy. I’d rather meet either of them in public, personally, and discuss things, especially with Clint Eastwood. I just had an ol’ friend on the phone for the last 1/2 hour, and he’s a silver-star recipient from the Vietnam War, and he’d rather see Clint Eastwood portray the New & Improved “Lone Ranger”, of which I have high hopes for someday… Sorry so longwinded, just thought I’d throw this OUT THERE… If you’re either Harrison Ford or Clint Eastwood, please contact me personally. Been trying to get ahold of you regarding a business deal, and for what it’s worth, but it’s currently a small time operation, and very limited edition items I’m referring too. It could go corporate, and I’m very interested but cost concerned. Come HELL OR HIGH WATER, I’d rather see you approve of the artwork, before it’s too late… Sincerely, a concerned artist, and friendly advocate…

  5. The Way It Is

    January 9, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    Lou Diamond Phillips and Johnny Depp are both fraudulent eurasians. They are not anything American. The Americans know this and always have, as it is easy for them to discern. The Americans aren’t in the traditional media business. NYLA/Hollywood media is operated out of europe/asia for the most part as it always has been. America is more of a multimedia industry market, obviously, as it always has been. Not to mention military intelligence, of course, the real American theater. Lou Diamond Phillips and Johnny Depp would be better off and safer not to pretend concerning The Americans. They’ve been merciless so far, but only out of a mercy that is useful to them.

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