Parker (2012)

Flying Brian Banana Hammock April 27, 2011 3

Parker is a crime thriller starring Jason Statham as (you guessed it) Parker, a thief who lives by a code of honor. The code? To not steal from those who need the money.

Do the mob and rich, greedy people not buy things? Oh, then I guess they need money. Based on my logic, this movie will be boring, as he will have no one to steal stuff from. BAM.

Oh, and apparently, Parker’s word is his bond. And he kills people sometimes.

Code of honor killings, yo.

Parker

Parker is being directed by Tayler Hackford, who won an Oscar in 1978 for the short film Teenage Father. So expect this movie to be RAD, yo.

Hackford has directed Ray, Proof of Life, The Devil’s Advocate, and most recently Love Ranch. The films are supposedly based on books, although I can’t imagine anyone READING a Jason Statham film, but nonetheless the novels were written by Donald E. Westlake.

Parker Trailer

Parker Release Date

TBA.

Pictures

Not yet.

Who’s In It?

Jason Statham.

What’s Good About It?

I can’t really think of anything. Yo. Probably some made parkour! That would be awesome.

Maybe he’ll parallel PARK. er.

What’s Bad About It?

It’s a Jason Statham film. Check yo brains at the door. Yo.

Our Clever Prediction

It’ll make the same money that every Jason Statham film makes. Meaning BILLIONS.

Have I misjudged the popularity of Jason Statham?

3 Comments »

  1. Stark62 March 4, 2012 at 9:53 am -

    i second jonok completely re: the parker novels. I have high hopes for a series (there were 20+ parker novels) but seeing jason statham, as parker, in a cowboy hat – scares me. stark wouldn’t have written that.

  2. amber August 23, 2011 at 9:31 pm -

    jennifer lopez is in it also.

  3. Jonok August 19, 2011 at 9:23 am -

    If you have not read the Parker novels by Richard Stark (aka Donald E Westlake) try them,they are the top of my pulp fiction list. Parker is a total phsycopath who lives by a simple code,cross him and you will regret it. His trade is heists he is a planner and a man manager and all round hardcase. Im very excited about this move I hope the director pulls it off,could be a big hit

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