Hitman 2 follows the apparently inconsistent killer Agent 47, who, after learning in the first film about protecting someone and having a heart, now wants to become the world’s top assassin once again.
Hopefully director Daniel Benmayor will further highlight the inconsistencies of Agent 47 by having him express his dislike of fast food only to later eat at Wendy’s. Maybe Hitman 2 will have subtle racism, and Agent 47 will only kill Korean children. But, in another bit of inconsistency, cry over the success of Panda Express, while eating their delicious orange chicken. Then he’ll wonder aloud of Americanized Chinese food counts as exploiting Korea. Admit it, if half that had made it into the original, you’d be excited for a sequel.
Hitman 2 Script
Penned by Kyle Ward, who is also working on an adaptation of other video game property Kane and Lync, Hitman 2 will follow Agent 47 as he tries to get back into murderous shape. Apparently he’s really let himself go, eating too many nachos and such, and he needs to regain that chiseled physique so he can once again not bang Olga Kurylenko.
Who’s It For?
Bring the kids! Or not, since the first one was R. And about a guy who kills people for a living. Plus it sucked, so you shouldn’t be wasting your kid’s time. This isn’t Robocop.
Movie Release Date
It was supposed to be 2010, don’t see that happening, and since production hasn’t started yet, late 2011 would be the earliest, but more likely 2012.
Who’s In It?
No word yet as to whether Timothy Olyphant will reprise his roll as Agent 47. Other rumors place Joan Cusack and Nathan Lane in the film, although those are still unconfirmed. Stay tuned for more as casting progresses.
Hitman, other crappy video game film adaptations. (All except Super Mario Bros. which this is in no way related)
What’s Good About It?
It isn’t hard to make a decent film about an assassin who kills lots of people and has hot chicks strip naked and walk about the hotel room in their thongs…
What’s Bad About It?
And yet they made an epic crapfest the first time.
Our Clever Prediction
I’m thinking I’ll be describing the sequel as Missman, rather than Hitman. Get it? Because it’ll be a miss, and not a hit.
If Olyphant comes back, I’ll give it a shot. Justified and Deadwood are two of my favorite shows, and if he can kick half the ass in Hitman as he does on Justified, then I’m in.