Baytown Outlaws (2012)

Flying Brian Banana Hammock December 6, 2012 Comments Off

Baytown Outlaws is a grindhouse style film where a husband and wife break up, and the husband turns out to be a bad dude and holds onto the kid. The mom hires some local redneck badasses to kidnap her son and bring him to her.

You know, THAT old story.

Actually, I’m not sure if they’re husband and wife, or if they just had a kid together because they lived in sin or sumthin’.

But shit goes south and the rednecks are being hunted down by the father and his men. Oh, and Billy Bob Thornton and Eva Longoria are in this.

Baytown Outlaws

Baytown Outlaws comes from writer/director Barry Battles (sweet name, bro), though the film was co-written by Griffin Hood (ANOTHER sweet name… bros).

They don’t really have much experience, so expect this to be terrible.

Pictures

Baytown Outlaws Trailer

Baytown Outlaws Release Date

It’ll be On Demand December 4, 2012.

Who’s In It?

Daniel Cudmore … Lincoln Oodie
  Thomas Brodie-Sangster … Rob
  Paul Wesley … Reese
  Natalie Martinez … Ariana
  Billy Bob Thornton
  Zoe Bell … Rose
  Eva Longoria … Celeste
  Serinda Swan
  Andre Braugher … Sherriff Henry Millard
  Michael Rapaport … Lucky
  Agnes Bruckner … Mona
  Brea Grant … Pammy
  Victoria Gabrielle Platt … Madam
  Clayne Crawford … Brick Oodie
  Travis Fimmel … McQueen Oodie
  Arden Cho … Angel
  J.D. Evermore … Officer Boyd
  Shawn Carter Peterson … Salesman
  Julio Oscar Mechoso … Padre

What’s Good About It?

It has Eva Longoria, and the trailer looks okay. If Baytown Outlaws churns out some charm, it might not be half bad.

What’s Bad About It?

I don’t trust the filmmakers, and let’s be honest, Billy Bob Thornton and Eva Longoria aren’t exactly big stars these days. Or, you know, ever.

Our Clever Prediction

It’s an On Demand Grindhouse type film. Baytown Outlaws is probably going to tank.

I like how the posters have “A Southern Whip-Ass Extravaganza” and “A Southern Whup-Ass Extravaganza.” WHICH IS IT? Whip or Whup? This is the kind of sloppy attention to detail that will likely cause this film to blow ass.

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