The Absent (2011)

Flying Brian Banana Hammock November 17, 2010 Comments Off

The Absent follows a high school teacher who must choose between his career and a love affair with one of his students. Oh, and his brother gets out of jail at the same time. His crime? Murdering their parents!

I shouldn’t be so excited by this film, but the concept just SCREAMS Oscar. The film is a thriller/horror film, because why not? I’m hoping that it turns out the teacher killed his parents and his brother took the fall for him. SNAP. That would be crazy.

Or his brother comes after HIM. Uh oh. One thing to consider is that Mr. Anderson, the school teacher (and Neo from the Matrix), must be pretty old. His brother killed their parents and is getting out of jail after 25 years. That means the brother must have been tried as an adult, so he was at least close to being 18 when he committed the murder. He may have been younger and just tried as an adult, but assuming he was 18, that would make him 43. I’m guessing the brothers are reasonably close in age, so this facking pedophile is around 40 years old and is bangin a high school student. Sure, she’ll probably be 18 so that no one feels weird about it, but he’s probably been watching her since she was 14. Creepy. Man, I hope it turns out he killed his parents.

Trailer

THE most professional trailer EVER. I am salivating for this sucker.

The Scoop

I won’t bore any of you with the details of director Sage Bannick’s life, as I have no doubt you’re all intimately familiar with him. I will mention that Damon Mentzer, one of the two editors, as well as First Assistant Camera and Second Unit Director of Photography, is probably awesome. Sure, this is his first film, but look at all those jobs he’s proven himself capable of handling! And did he become a camera? I think that’s a misleading title. I’m assuming he USED a camera, and didn’t become one. Where do you put the film?

Who’s It For?

No rating, but I’m hoping this will be one for the kids, so G.

Movie Release Date

Limited release on January 7, 2011. Then, after it makes HUGE bucks, it’ll go wide. I’m TOTALLY sure.

Who’s In It?

How the heck did they afford all these guys?
Damon Abdallah … Mr. Anderson
Samuel Ball¹ … Sheriff John Jackson
Cloud Bannick … Cloud
Ari Bernstein … Jail Mate
Jennifer Blanc … Kathy Johnson

Interesting Fact

I also have a twin brother named Oscar. He plays for the Yankees. And he killed my parents. (he now goes by the name Derek Jeter. Can I get sued for something this stupid? Oh, and he’s GAY)

Related Movies

The Godfather, Citizen Kane, Horton Hears a Who

What’s Good About It?

Unless you’ve skipped to this section, you already know everything thats good about this film. If you actually did skip to this section, congratulations! You’ve won the race. But you forgot that life is about the journey, man.

What’s Bad About It?

The limited release means you’ll probably hear about the film from everyone before getting to see it, and the anticipation will kill you.

Our Clever Prediction

A new Academy Award will be created just for The Absent. It will incorporate the words “Super” “Grand” “Magnanimous” and “Jelly Beans.” It will be a glorious day for the world. Kid’s today will grow up to one day tell their grandchildren where they were the day the saw the film. Most of them will likely say, “At a movie theater.”

I didn’t think out that last part.

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