Love, Wedding, Marriage is a romantic comedy starring Mandy Moore as a marriage counselor and newlywed who must save her parents’ marriage, and perhaps her own.

Did that sound like the kinda inane garbage the studio would write about the film? That’s what I was going for. Nailed it. *high five

Anyways, Moore plays Eva, the marriage counselor who lives in a bit of a fantasy and doesn’t understand that marriage is hard, and that all men lie, and we’re all dogs, and we’ll cheat on you for someone hotter or if you get fat, or maybe if we think we can get away with it, or maybe just if we get the opportunity, or have enough money after all your stupid purchases to pay for a prostitute.

I’m sorry, where was I? Right, so right after her wedding, Eva’s parents announce that they want to get divorced. Also, she realizes that she married Kellan Lutz, who is IN Twilight but isn’t Edward or Jacob. Team… loser? Of course, the film looks kinda bland, but pretty, like Mandy Moore, so it should all turn out okay. Or maybe she’ll get bone cancer and die when her legs give out while skiing. How big a shocker would that be?

Love, Wedding, Marriage

Holy crap. Love, Wedding, Marriage is being directed by Dermot Mulroney. The dude from The Wedding Date and Must Love Dogs. The guy who has essentially been eye candy for ladies for a while now. It turns out he directs too! I doubt he directs well, but he does it. This moron movie just went from a 3 out of 10 to a 50 out of 10. Yeah. It looks better. WAY BETTER.

Love, Wedding, Marriage Trailer

Movie Release Date

June 3, 2011.

Pictures

Who’s In It?

Mandy Moore … Eva
  Kellan Lutz … Charlie
  Jessica Szohr … Shelby
  Jane Seymour
  James Brolin
  Michael Weston … Gerber
  Joe Chrest
  Monica Acosta … Wedding Guest
  Sarah Lieving … Rachel
  Richard Reid … Ian
  Michael Arata … Accountant

What’s Good About It?

Uh… it’s directed by DERMOT MULRONEY. That should be enough.

What’s Bad About It?

Uh… it’s directed by DERMOT MULRONEY. That should be enough.

See what I did there?

Our Clever Prediction

I predict this will be the highlight of Mandy Moore’s career. Kellan Lutz will go on to bigger things though. First, he’ll star in an Off Broadway play entitled “My Fair Caddy” which will be about a golfer who falls for his servant, and then the servant becomes a golfer too. Then he’ll be the LEAD vampire in a movie intended for teenaged girls, but which only I enjoy. That will be the height of his career. Dermot Mulroney will win 50 Oscars.