Even more news, and this time by someone who does NOT specialize in dicksmashing.
I smash vaginas.
Did I write sequel? I meant sequels. Yeah. Plural, suckas. It appears James Cameron has finally announced that the Avatar sequels will be shot at the same time, with the first sequel to release at Christmas time 2014. Yeah, 14. The third film in the trilogy will release the following Christmas. So if my calculations are correct… that would be 2015. Might as well be 20… NEVER. Cause we all know the world will end in 2012. Roland Emmerich told me. There had been a few rumors about Cameron doing a 3D (of course) Cleopatra starring Angelina Jolie, but it looks like that was a bunch of crap.
I know you’re asking, “But Brian (not dicksmasher) we never heard this news of Cleopatra! Why didn’t you tell us?”
Don’t worry, it wasn’t because we just recently started this ‘movie news’ type page to give multiple updates. And it wasn’t because of laziness. It’s because I don’t like you. Canadians. It may also be because I knew the news was a bunch of crap. Yeah. Thats it. I knew it wasn’t true, and I didn’t want to get your hopes up.
Cameron will reportedly get started on writing the sequels in early 2011. Apparently, the studio helped convince him to work on the new films after donating a ton of money to a charity he works with. Something about saving the earth or some such nonsense. Again. World will end in 2012. No point in trying to stop it. Just let the ennui sweep over you. I went out yesterday and started having unprotected… fun. With dirty looking ladies. Well… I assume they were ladies, but then I didn’t enjoy lady-specific parts.
My God. This is dirty. Normally I’d care, but the world is going to end soon.
Darren Aronofsky has been confirmed by Hugh Jackman as the director for the sequel to 2009′s best superhero movie, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Yep. Best.
Aronofsky had been rumored for the next Superman film (next item), but because the film had to get off the ground right away, and Aronofsky takes a lot of time fiddling with scripts and working on films, he couldn’t do that, and is now on Wolverine. Awesome news. He’s worked with Jackman before, and while there have been rumors that the film would be a love story in Japan, who knows now that Aronofsky’s at the helm? I see a number of changes being made to the plot before shooting begins. A draft of the script has reportedly been written by Chris McQuarrie, who wrote The Usual Suspects, so that also gives hope. I am actually excited for a Wolverine movie. Wow.
Still godfathered by Chris Nolan, a director has been announced for the next Superman film: Zach Snyder. I’m actually somewhat happy with this news. For those of you who don’t know him, Snyder directed the remake of Dawn of the Dead, 300, and Watchmen. He has Sucker Punch coming out next year, and I feel like he might be the man for the job. I don’t want to see a bunch of slowmo with Supes, but Watchmen and 300 had totally different visual styles, and both worked pretty well. Watchmen is the main film that gives me hope, and even though it wasn’t perfect, he did a great job of developing the visual style of the comics for the big screen. He has a real talent for visuals, so at the very least this will be a cool looking Superman film. David Goyer has written a draft of the script, although there are rumors that a lot of changes are necessary to make it usable, which is why they chose Snyder over Aronofsky. Apparently Snyder works a lot faster and can get the film done on time. The film may be about a young Superman traveling around the world trying to decide what to do with his life, similar to the Superman: Birthright comic that came out a few years back, and Zod has been rumored for the villain, but Snyder has said that Zod is still just a rumor. One thing I’d bet on is that there will be a real villain for Superman this time, and not just Lex Luther trying to make a crazy real estate plan that involves killing people. Zod would work, or Brainiac or Doomsday. Just let him punch something. I like punching.
Judd Apatow Film
This was just released today, and boy is there a lot known. Judd Apatow has decided he will write and direct another movie. The release date is to be June 1, 2012. That’s everything. I bet Leslie Mann is in it.
Captain America Pic!!
The first official pic of Chris Evans as Captain America will be on the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week. Outside of the fact (the fact I say) that he looks like a little kid being touched by his uncle, it doesn’t look half bad. Buy the magazine this week. (Not sure if I need to say that, but I figure it helps)
Green Lantern Trailer
Have you seen the trailer for the Green Lantern yet?