Friday The 13th Review

My official review for the 2009 remake of Friday The 13th is one in which I’m a little split. I was looking so forward to the remake, and Bay’s input, that I perhaps put a little good faith aside. Its not that this new version of Friday The 13th was bad, but it was well… really dull and blah.

The Scoop

You can read the entire synopsis of the film at our official Friday The 13th page. Essentially, a group of young adults discover a boarded up Camp Crystal Lake, where they soon encounter Jason Voorhees.

Disregarding the advice of police {as always}, and locals, Clary continues his search for his sister with the help of a young woman he meets, who is also at the lake with college friends for the weekend.

The Truth

There really isn’t anything original here that warranted a remake of this film, and that’s the truth folks. Sure, the girls are prettier, so are the special effects but the rest is just more of the same. If you can accept that, then great. I expected a little more effort put into the plot, the effects..the drama, considering the directorial talent behind the film.

Jason is still Jason, and most of the film takes place at night, which really puts a strain on the old eyeballs on my end. As usual, Jason has superhuman abilities, until the end, when he fights the protagonist of the film, when he almost seems human in his abilities.. strange.

The Action

The action is pretty lame, the film moves along pretty slowly. I believe it was 35 minutes into the film before we even get to see Jason. Its a slasher film, all dressed up, so you can count on a decent amount of action, if not a little bit on the slow side.

The Chicks

An impressive ensemble of chicks are throughout the film, but there isn’t an abundance of them. This time around, the writers decided to use less girls in the film.

WTF Moment

After killing Jason, they decide to throw him back in the lake for some reason. Why not just burn the prick in a campfire?

The Killings

Nothing original here, which was disappointing. Jason is still a master of the crossbow and machete.

The Verdict

I’m going to take a bit of heat over this, because I helped promote the film with various online companies, but Friday The 13th 2009 was a pile of shit. I’m a loyal fan of the series, I don’t expect much, but they never took this franchise any further at all. I needed night vision to sit through the entire film, considering 90% of the action takes place in complete darkness.

I know they are trying to remake the franchise for future generations, but this is a lame attempt to doing so. Its a huge success at the box office, which means there will be a sequel, maybe they will get it right next time around.
Maybe I expected more, obviously my expectations were too high. Friday The 13th (2009) is a shitty film, on par with Hostel. That’s not a compliment.

Tags: February 2009, Horror 2009, Worst of 2009