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In honor of this cult classic, I think its only fair that Michael Myers is judged on some of his good qualities, instead of being labelled as only a mindless murderer.

10 Reasons Michael Myers (The Halloween Mass Murderer) is better than you.

He’s very bright

Michael experienced typical child development up until his sixth birthday and he was considered bright. In the first Halloween, the doctors claim Michael had an IQ approaching 200. Consider the average IQ is around 120 or so, and you may as well bow down to his intelligence.

He was the chosen one

Michael was chosen by a cult to bear the Curse of Thorn by age six. The cult believes that a child from one family must be chosen to bear the curse and sacrifice their entire family in order to save the rest of the community from death. Michael was in charge of fulfilling his destiny at an early age. When you think about it, that takes a lot of dedication, especially at a young age. Sure, his sister and her boyfriend paid the ultimage price at the hands of Michaels kitchen knife, but you have to look past the small stuff.

As a child, you played your Atari 2600 and your favorite show was The Fall Guy. Michael Myers was much more accomplished than you were at the same age.

He is immortal

The curse apparently makes the user immortal or grants the ability to self-resurrect once dead, and gives other super-natural abilities like superhuman strength. You take a day off when your nose is running.

Michael saw his sister naked

This is a draw, because statistically 95% of people who read blogs also have seen their sister naked. The other 5% liked it.

Myers is at least 6’8

Take the average height of 5’10, and you are still a manlet compared to the enormous Michael Myers. He’ll slash your throat six ways till Sunday, and they slam dunk the ball over your short little lifeless body.

He’s handy with weapons

His primary weapon is a butcher knife, but has also used several other weapons to accomplish his work, including a pitchfork an axe or he can crushed your skull with his bare hands. Myers can use almost anything he wants to knock you the f out. You? Your weapon experience comes from xbox live, where you rarely destroy ten year old opponents. Last time you picked up an axe, you had a blister for 10 days.

Michael is psychic

Michael has displayed limited psychic abilities with his family. He was able to mentally command his niece Jamie to attack her adoptive mother in The Return of Michael Myers. You can’t get your wife to fetch a beer for you out of the fridge.

Superhuman Stregth

Michael has displayed many feats of superhuman strength including lifting large men off their feet by their heads. You hurt your back golfing three years ago at a stag, and complain about it to this day.

Superhuman Abilities

Well, this is a no brainer. He has withstood being shot, burned, stabbed, beaten, hanged, and electrocuted. After acting comatose for nearly 10 years, he displayed no ill physical effects. You still have a headache from those three Miller’s you pounded back at last month’s UFC gathering at your buddies house.

He gets out on Halloween

You sit on the couch packing on the pounds, while Michael is getting exercise, meeting people and being energetic.